i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize