I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
