sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
