I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
