Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
