Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
