break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
