You don't have asthma, your pregnant
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
