He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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