So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
