We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
