I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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