His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
