was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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