so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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