That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
