wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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