where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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