everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she smelled like a LAN party
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
