Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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