They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
