it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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