I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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