dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
