why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
