I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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