Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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