I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
