Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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