Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
