the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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