he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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