have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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