I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
