Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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