Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
