How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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