i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
