what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sext me about skeletons
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
