Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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