when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
