dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
