and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
