I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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