how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
there is puke in my bra ... again
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
