I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
