You're my little dorito
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
