did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
