the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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