Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got inside last night via doggy door
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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