I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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