I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
