We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
