I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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