I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
