did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
People in love make me want to vomit
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
