I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
