Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
