If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
