Your face is a jimmy john
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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