Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Found the puke drawer
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
