Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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