Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
