She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize