sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize