Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize