oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
