i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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