No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
