We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
