Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
please come you make the beer taste better
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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