Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
