Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
