Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
