have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
