i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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